Remember me? Hopefully
there are still a few of you around that do. It is 11 months since I
have written a blog. I started 2014 with such very good intentions.
I even managed a photo a day through January. I also began a
Fabrilushus blog where I was blogging about knitting. I intended to
try out a new craft each month. I was looking ahead to a good year.
Sadly it all went wrong at
the beginning of February when my dear Dad suffered a very bad
stroke. He was in the Lister hospital and initially we had hope that
he would recover and go home. Sadly it never happened. He went to a
rehabilitation place in Old Welwyn but they were never able to even
begin helping him as he was ill from the moment he arrived. He was
moved back to the Lister hospital on the 17th of March and
he died 2 days later on the 19th of March.
As dying goes it was the
best. He was not in pain and he was aware what was happening. In
fact he actively chose it. He refused treatment. They told him he
would die that day and asked if that was what he wanted. He told
them yes. They asked my sister and I if we agreed and we said yes,
it was what he wanted. He was ready and wanted to be with Mum.
He had pretty much his
entire family around him including his year old great grandson,
Jackson sitting on the bed. When we asked him if he could feel
Jackson touching his hand he nodded his head, yes. I am so grateful
that he knew we were all there.
It was the worst day of my
life.
Since then the year has
gone on without him and I have found it hard. I miss him so much it
is hard to even describe.
In a lot of respects I am
feeling sad tonight because tomorrow is a new year and a part of me
doesn't want to be in a year that he will not be a part of. On the
other hand, I am glad to see the back of 2014 as it was such a sad
time for me.
I know he is up there
somewhere with Mum and that they are watching over us all. He is
probably saying pull yourself together, get yourself a drink and
toast the new year.
In an hours time I shall
do just that, except I shall raise a toast to both of them and thank
them for being the best parents I could wish for.
Tomorrow is a new day and
I shall pick myself up and go on.
Posts
I am so very sorry for your loss. I envy your close and loving relationship with your father. What a blessing to have that for yourself and for your entire family.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to hear from you and hope to hear from you in the coming year.
I'm sorry for your grief, Jilly. To say I understand would be an understatement. I have walked this road and no matter how many companions you have, it is still a lonely road. I will not say it gets better. We do no stop missing them. We simply learn to get up and move along, as you say. And that is probably the best defense against the hurt. As long as you're moving, you can stay a little ahead of it.
ReplyDeleteI wish a better year for you and your's. May you all be blessed with sunny days and much laughter.