Out with the old and in with the new.

Well here we all are on the cusp of another new year. It is 23.31 here in the UK so not long now. I can hear some fireworks already although they are distant. Probably at the far end of the village where there are more houses. I am writing this in bed, in the dark, with a little grandson fast asleep next to me. I hope the fireworks do not wake him.

It is little Morra, Saskia's son, who is having his first ever sleepover on his own. He has obviously stayed here lots of times but never without Mummy and Daddy. They are currently having a few days in London to celebrate Saskia's 30^th birthday which was yesterday. I have no idea how she can possibly be 30. That is 4 of my 5 children now in their thirties. I am of course still sticking with 46!

Those of you that know me will know that I don't really celebrate new year. As far as I am concerned it is just another date on the calender and doesn't mean much. It is the simple passage of time, nothing more or less. The 2^nd of January is as much a new day as the 1^st. Every single day is a day to start afresh.

Despite the lack of any celebrations, like most people I do take some time to reflect on the outgoing year. So I thought for this blog tonight I could do a quick rehash of 2015. I have hardly blogged at all so you will have all missed out on what I have been up to.

The year got off to the worst possible start when our Loulou died on the 18^th of January. This was followed within hours by the devastating news of the fire at the kennels where we do volunteer work. Three precious doggies were lost that night along with the reception building.

Much of our spare time this year has been spent working with the other volunteers to rebuild and move on from that dreadful night.

January had one bright point when our Beanie came to live with us. He is a Saffy / English Bullie Cross and he has given us so much joy this year.

February saw us take our first overnight trip In Tallulah our camper van. Since then we have had lots of day trips and weekends and 4 extended holidays including visiting Scotland for the first time. We also had a lovely family weekend with 2 of my cousins, my sister and some of our children.

In May Simon celebrated his 60th birthday with a big gathering of family and friends. The weather was lovely. He also made the decision that it was time to say goodbye to teaching and he did his last day on the 17^th of July. He officially retired on the 31^st of August and he is LOVING it.

September was a busy month with celebrations on the 10^th for Sam and Lisa's 10^th wedding anniversary. It was also the month that we became the owners of a second house. That was a biggie as the income from that has made living on a pension a lot easier.

October saw Coralie finally heading off to Tanzania to do her cycle ride in aid of womens cancer charities. She raised over £4000. We are incredibly proud of her.

In November Three Counties Dog Rescue opened a charity shop in Bourne and we have been heavily involved with that. It has been hard work but very exciting.

December and the lead up to Christmas was all quite calm and stress free and we were lucky to have a wonderful Christmas and to enjoy the company of our children and grandchildren. Since then, things have not been good as our eldest daughter Coralie has once again found herself back in hospital. We are crossing our fingers for better health for her in 2016.

My biggest achievement of the year is my weight loss but it is now officially 2016 so I think that has to be another blog. Suffice to say 2015 was the year that I lost over 4 stones in weight! Go me!

Time to say goodnight I think and time to snuggle up with my little one. I do wish you all a very Happy New Year and many blessings for 2016. Above all I hope that it is a peaceful one and as always I wish you “ENOUGH”.

  

Blessings - Shafiq Morra Usman Abdullahi

Phew, just managed to make it here. That's 3 days in a row. Simon has finished now for the Easter holidays. He will be at home for 18 days so it is a good long break for him.

We have had a relatively lazy day. This morning we were sorting out Tallulah ready for next week. Simon had to change a fuse which had blown on our last trip and stopped the heating working. It took a bit of figuring out. I gave her a thorough vacuum to make sure she is spick and span for her next adventure. I also loaded in some new food supplies and got all Beanie's food sorted and stored.

With that job done, I set about doing some online banking whilst Simon got our potatoes planted. We already have onions and garlic in that have overwintered. We just ordered some seed today. This year we would like to grow some of our bedding and basket flowers from seed.

This afternoon we paid a visit to the kennels to drop off a load of stuff for the market tomorrow. We are not able to go this month as it is Morra's 1^st birthday party tomorrow.

Speaking of Morra gets me back to my theme of blessings. Morra is Saskia's little one. All our grandchildren are wonderful blessings and all very special. Morra came to us at a time of great sadness and he bought such joy and happiness with him. He was born just 4 days after we lost my Dad.

The day Dad died, I travelled with Verity and Jackson to Saskia in Leicester. Because she was so close to giving birth she was not able to be with us at the hospital. We could not tell her that her Granddad had gone over the phone, so we had to go to her. I will always remember that journey and Saskia's reaction. We were all so upset that Dad never got to meet little Morra. Every time I visited him in those last weeks, the first thing he asked was “how is Saskia doing”?

Morra was born on the 23^rd of March. He should have been born at home and Saskia had Coralie there with her but in the event, due to his heart beat dropping very low, she was swiftly moved to the hospital and he came shortly after. What a gift he was too. I can't tell you how much he raised our spirits. It was good to have something to smile about even though my every thought at that point was tinged with sorrow. I would have given anything for Dad to have been able to see him. I am sure that Dad knew that he was at the funeral service with everyone else despite being just a few days old.

He was quite a small baby but grew rapidly. We think that Mummy’s milk was gold top! Now at a year old he is about average, although on the tall side. His Daddy is tall. It's hard to say who he looks like but in the most recent photos, I can see the Sansum in him.

I can't believe he is already a year old. I have no idea where that year went to. He is walking now and I am looking forward to seeing that tomorrow. I have seen videos and he was nearly there last time we saw him.

His party is tomorrow and all the family will be there except Sam, Lisa and the girls as they are currently in France. I am so looking forward to it. I love the occasions when we are all together. To have a large and close knit family is another blessing. Doesn't mean they don’t get on my nerves sometimes! LOL.

Here are some photo's from Morra's first year.

 

 I love this one of Ellie.  It was the first time they met.  The eldest and the youngest!

 

 Three of my four boys.

 

I will post some photos from his party after tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

Jilly

Blessings - My Dad.

Righty ho, I said I would blog so here I am blogging. Trouble is I am limited for time today as I have a fair few jobs to get done this morning as I want to go to the big city this afternoon for some shopping. I need to buy a present for my little Grandson's birthday.

I have to use public transport to go anywhere as we only have the one car and Simon uses that for work. The buses from my village go once an hour and it takes around an hour to get to the city. I have to change buses in the nearby town of Bourne and then I can get a bus to Peterborough which is the nearest big place with decent shops. It is a bit of a trek so I don’t do it very often! However going today I can come back with Simon in the car so that makes it better.

Anyway, where was I? See I am already waffling on. I can't just write a blog without some waffle. Yesterday I mentioned that despite recent sadness we are also very blessed. So I think I will restart my blogging habit by talking about some of my blessings.

I am going to start with my Dad. He was the most wonderful man and one year on I still miss him terribly. I think of him every single day and talk to him too.

He was born in the East End of London on the 13^th of December 1926. The 2^nd child and 2^nd son of Harry and Edith Sansum. He eventually had 4 more siblings, another brother and 3 sisters. They were a typical East End family of that time. They were very poor and eked out an existence. His Dad liked the drink a bit too much so although he worked, the family didn’t see too much of his earnings. His Mum was a very strong, sensible lady with good morals and I think it was her influence that made my Dad the man he was.

1951. Great Yarmouth

He was kind, patient, honest, hard working, and devoted to my Mum. Many of you will know how hard it was for our family once the Alzheimers took over my Mum. Dad never faltered in his love and care for her right until the end. Once Mum had gone we thought he wouldn't be long after her but in fact he enjoyed 2 more years.

They were good years. He once again became fully engaged with all of the family. He adored his great grandchildren and we had many family occasions where he had the best time. He also started to visit us every school holiday. He had never done that while Mum was still alive because he would never leave her. He really looked forward to coming to stay and in fact he always knew when the next holiday was due.

This was taken on his 87th birthday and is the last photo of him with his Great Grandchildren.

So we were both eagerly looking forward to the February half term break last year. I had various plans of things we were going to do together. Little did either of us know that it wasn't to be.

Dad suffered a stroke at the end of January. In the first few hours the news coming from my sister was that it might not be too bad. After all he had been out doing his shopping and had walked to his doctor himself because he didn't feel so good. However over the next few days we realised that actually it was the very worst kind of stroke. It had occurred at the back, right in the centre so had effected not just his ability to walk but also things such as his swallowing reflex.

He was in the Lister hospital in Stevenage and over the following weeks they tried hard to do some physiotherapy with him but he was very down. He also had an operation to insert a permanent feeding port as it seemed that he would never regain his swallow. After around a month they moved him to a rehabilitation unit in Old Welwyn. They seemed positive that they would get him back on his feet. To be honest, I always had doubts, I just couldn’t ever see him making it home. I did try to have hope though.

Sadly from the very first day there things went wrong. He contracted some kind of infection and was in a lot of pain and discomfort. They could not begin his rehabilitation as he couldn’t move from the bed. This went on for several weeks during which time they had him in isolation as they were not sure what the infection was. It was a miserable existence for him and he told me on several occasions that he didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be with Mum. That is very hard to hear but I did understand.

Finally after several weeks he got pneumonia and they decided that he needed to be transferred back to the hospital at Stevenage. They moved him on he Monday night. I went up to see him on the Tuesday. I was shocked. I knew then he was never going home. He had on an oxygen mask but he kept fighting to take it off. It was hard to hear and understand what he was saying with it on. He did remove it briefly to say he loved me. I will always remember that.

I had a long journey home and didn't get in until around 8.30pm. I rang my children to let them know that he really was very poorly. I knew it wasn’t going to be long. I didn’t however expect it to be a matter of hours. I got a phone call around half an hour after I got home from my sister to say that the hospital had phoned for them to go in as he was asking for them. At around midnight she phoned to say I should return.

Simon and I were straight in the car. Once we were there the doctor came and spoke to us. Dad had made up his own mind that it was time. He refused all further treatment and the doctor told him that without it he would die that day. She asked if that was what he wanted and he told her yes. She asked my sister and I if we agreed. We had to say yes. It wasn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted my Dad back. I didn’t want to lose him. However I did understand that he wasn’t going to get better and that he had simply had enough. It was time to go and be with Mum.

They switched of all the machines and removed everything from him. We were moved into a private room as by this time most of the family were there. He died about 20 minutes later. It was very peaceful and he knew we were all there. He even had his youngest great-grandson Jackson, sitting on the bed holding his hand. Jackson was just 1 year old. We asked Dad if he knew Jackson was holding his hand and he nodded yes! A few minutes later the light went out on my world.

I found it incredibly hard. I was inconsolable. Even now I cannot write this without the tears streaming down my face.

And now a whole year has passed without him. The last one of the “first anniversaries” has passed. It isn’t any easier. So many times there is stuff that I want to tell him. On several occasions I have actually picked up the phone and dialled the number before my brain has reminded me that he won't be answering.

I wonder what he would make of it all? I know what he would tell me. “Life goes on and you must pick yourself up and get on with it”. He once told me that my sister Julie had described me as pragmatic. He said “I don’t know what that actually means but I know you will be OK because you are e a coper. You deal with things”. He is right. I am dealing with it. One of my ways of doing that is to try and live by the mantra of always remember the good times and also to always count my blessing every single day.

My Dad was one of the biggest blessings of my life. I was so blessed to have such a wonderful man as my father. A man who showed me how to be the best that I can. A man who taught me that no matter what, family are the most important thing. He will always be a blessing.

I love you Dad.

PS. I hope I haven’t made anyone feel down with this blog. As I wrote it, I got quite upset. It's OK to be upset. You know, my sister is right, I am pragmatic. I am a coper. As far as I can see there is no other choice. Whatever life throws at us, all we can do is carry on. I have my tears and my sad times, but then in the words of my grandson Evan, I “give myself a talking to” and then I follow my road.

My friend Deb will understand the reference to following the road.

Count your blessings every single day and whatever happens follow your road.

Jilly

Photo 365 - 18

We went to Cambridge today for little Jackson's first birthday party.  It was held in the sports hall of the college where Steve works.  There were 35 of us so a bit too many to have in their home.   It went really well and everyone had a lovely time.  The birthday boy was very good.   He had a lovely number one birthday cake baked and decorated by his Mummy.  Verity is a fabulous cook.

Little man did need some help from Mummy to blow out his candles.

Our Christmas

So did you all have a great Christmas?  Ours was lovely.  We spread it out over 3 days to ensure that we saw everyone.  We collected Saskia from the station on Christmas Eve and went over to Coralie's as we were not going to be seeing them on the big day.

Christmas day was lovely as it was just the 3 of us to start out,  Saskia was up first to make the coffee and then she had a stocking of presents in our bedroom.  She had gifts for us too.  We were doing a secret Santa thingumy this year so she wasn't supposed to have anything for us.

We went to Sam and Lisa's house for dinner.  It was the very first time in the whole of our married life that we have not cooked Christmas dinner!  It was lovely!  Everyone then went to Coralie's but we went home to be with Loulou.  It was quite hard not having Alfie with us. We miss him so much. It was nice to have the evening just the 2 of us.

Boxing day was a lovely slow start again with just the 2 of us.  Verity and Steve arrived with Jackson just after lunch and everyone else came shortly after.  We had more presents and a great time, finishing up with a buffet.

The following day we hit Kiddicare for pram shopping.  It took some time time to find the right one and we actually ended up buying a Mothercare one. Saskia is thrilled with it which is the main thing.

I thought you might like to see some photos.

 

   

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 So that was our Christmas in a brief nut shell.  Saskia went home on Saturday and we are now alone again.  Only 360 days until we do it all again!!

Our Christmas

We had a lovely Christmas.  Surrounded by family as always.  It begun on the 22nd when Simon collected Saskia from the station.  We had a lovely afternoon as Coralie came over with the boys and Lisa and Sam with the girlies and we made paper chains.  The children loved it.  They took some home and we hung some up.  We only had a tiny tree this year so the paper chains helped to make it look more festive.  We have taken them down today.

On Christmas eve Saskia and I had a bit of a sewing day.  She made 2 bum bags for presents for Evan and Flynn and a cushion for a friend.  I just pottered in my sewing room.  The evening was spent watching TV and relaxing.

Christmas day began at 8am as we had told Saskia that she had to go down and bring us coffee and biscuits. She was delighted to find the stocking that we had done for her hanging on her door.  She sat on our bed to open her gifts while we drank our coffee.  It wasn't quite the same as the days when all 5 of them would sit on our bed excitedly ripping open presents at 5am but it was still a lovely moment.

We had cooked the turkey on Christmas eve so we only had the gammon joint and veggies to prepare.  We got them ready and then went down to Sam and Lisa's house for an hour.  The girls were very excited and it was lovely to see them open their presents.

We received a house number plate from Sam and Lisa.  Lisa made it herself from mosaic tiles.

We were home by 11.30am and Verity and Steve arrived shortly after. We had a lovely relaxed time before dinner which went down really well. There were only the 5 of us which is the smallest number we have ever had. Verity had made a brownie cake which we had with raspberry coulis and cream for dessert.  None of us eat Christmas pudding.  She is one good cook.

After lunch we opened some presents.  I got a floor standing, day light lamp from Simon for my sewing room.  I also got 2 vouchers from him.  1 for a £100 shopping trip and 1 for me to get my hair done.  Do you think he is trying to tell me something?

Coralie, John and the boys arrived about 4pm shortly followed by Josh and Charlotte.   Sam and Lisa were not with us as they went to Lisa's parents for tea. We all had fun waiting to feel verity's baby moving.

We had a wonderful time opening presents.  The boys seemed to be very pleased with the bedtime buddies that I had made them.  We had a buffet tea as always around 6pm and then it was time for everyone to depart.  I mean every one as Saskia went back with Verity and Steve for a few days. It was the first Christmas night that we have ever been just the 2 of us.  It seemed a little odd not to have anyone staying but we enjoyed sitting and vegging out in front of the TV.

Boxing day we were totally alone as the rest of the family all went to Verity and Steve's in Cambridge.  we couldn't go as we cant leave Alfie for too long.  It was an odd day.  Just like a normal weekend day really.   We spent it relaxing and pottering as we did the following day.

This is me wearing my Christmas jammies that Saskia got me.  I was cold so I had them on over my dress. I hadn't brushed my hair!  Told you we were veging out!

Forgot to show you our present from Coralie, she made it herself and she drew around each grandchilds hand!  Isn't it lovely?

On the Friday Verity and Steve were bringing Saskia back and we were meeting them in Kiddicare in Peterborough to buy the pram/ pushchair for the  new  grandbaby.  Only 10 weeks to go!  We have sort of made a tradition that we buy the first grandchild's  travel system. We took Ellie with us as she wanted to help choose!  It took a long time even though they already sort of knew what they wanted.  In the end they chose a Quinny system.  They chose a french navy pram, black pushchair and sort of grey and purple car seat.  Baby will go in the pram for the first few months and of course the car seat and then they will convert it into the pushchair.  They were really pleased  with it all.

They had to try it out when they got home so here are some more views.  Won't be long until baby is in it.

The following day it was time for Saskia to go home so after dropping me at the dog rescue, Simon drove her back to Leicester.  I think she had a good Christmas but I think she was happy to be back at her own house and I know she was looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her friends the following day.  Happy Birthday Saskia!  27 years old!!!  How can that be possible?

With Saskia gone, we have been just relaxing and gradually getting the house back to normal.  Simon has been busy in his garage and I have done some sewing.  It was a different kind of Christmas.  Quieter. I do miss the old days when they were all young.  Those were magical times.  I am grateful though that we were able to spend time with all of our family.

Next year there will be one more person in our family.  I can't wait.